I never go to iVillage because I think it is trite, but today I went to look for my horoscope out of sheer boredom and I found an article I completely agree with. (I know the website is pink guys, but I think this wisdom applies to you too.)
To mangle Jane Austen, it is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman in possession of a bad man must not want to hear that she's ruining her life. So it may come as a surprise that it is my absolute Grrl Genius opinion that there are times when you've just got to tell her anyway.
Let us consider the "runaway bride" of Duluth, Georgia. Surely, in a wedding that involved 14 (yes, 14!) bridesmaids and seven bridal showers (yes, seven!), one of those women would have been willing to risk not wearing her hideous, $200, peach-colored nightmare of a dress ‑- with equally heinous dyed-to-match shoes ‑- and stepped up to the plate to ask this bride, "Hey, do you really think it's smart to marry a guy who doesn't want to have sex with you?" (According to the New York Post, her fiancé did not want to have sex with her).
If only one of these bridesmaids had put down her piña colada and done her duty as a bridesmaid and as a friend, hundreds of wasted police man-hours could have been saved ‑- not to mention six hundred perfectly good shrimp cocktails.
I always try to be as honest as possible with my friends when it comes to their relationships. (Sometimes brutally so and I'm sorry for being a bitch to those of you to whom I have been a bitch) But even beyond relationships being "nice" about things gets everyone approximately nowhere. Nice is boring, and useless.
When I went shopping for glasses with my boyfriend I tried on probably 50 pairs of glasses and he is response was "those are okay, those are okay those are okay those are okay". Which is great and all if I need a self esteem boost, but I needed to know if I should be wearing these glasses 24-7 for the next 2 years and "okay" isn't really what I was looking for. Obviously my man would not want to tell me that these glasses look like crap on me because it might upset me and being the delicate flower I am I might slap him. If he'd told me, "Hey those make your face look really fat" I would have been upset for to the use of the word fat in my general direction but quickly I would have realized the wisdom in his words and moved on to another pair. So while honesty may hurt for a little while, it will prevent wearing glasses that make you look like Rosie O'donnell, and everyone agrees that is a good thing.