Ryan at Feministe has an article today on the idea of Inherent Female Bisexuality. This is a popular idea at Frat parties where they try to get two straight girls to make out.
As an actual female bisexual (I know, national coming out day was last month, whatever) I find it kindof offensive when others imply that all women are bisexual. Women are no more bisexual than men are. Even though women are generally more attractive than men IMHO that is MY perception and I certainly don't think all women in the world agree with me. (Hence the Society for Future Housewives etc.)
Anyway, I'll be reading these articles, and maybe I will have more to opine on at a later date.
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12 comments:
I think it's just porn fantasy or little better to put this on women... the hangups are just somewhat lighter in many circles.
It may be, however, that all people have bisexual tendencies... I've often joked that everyone could be gay if they just met the right person.
not me of course, ahem, [deep voice], not me I'm perfectly straight. [ahem]
but come on... guys won't admit it but sometimes you see a guy that is very handsome... how do you know that?
I think there is something to be said for the everyone is bisexual concept. But I really go along with the whole kinsey scale of sexuality (I think I'm like a 4 1 being straight 9 being gay). And of course there are all different measures of sexuality, like sexual fantasy or arousal or identity.
But it really does have to do with the person, and if you're attracted to them, regardless of gender.
I think we can all agree, regardless of party affiliation, that women are simply easier on the eyes. No ?
J.D.
I think plenty of people can agree with J.D. It is a position I have heard stated many times by women in my aquaintance.
Of course these same women have been known to refer to the naked male genatalia as the 'last chicken in the shop' look.
In addition, I can look at a man and decide whether I think he is handsome. Does that really make me bisexual? I never have feelings of lust associated with him, the thought of an act of sexual congress with even a handsome man repulses me. I am just able to note that he is good looking.
I certainly agree J.D.
I think that you can easily judge how attractive someone is without necessarily being attracted to them, regardless of gender.
Erasmus pointed out that (I translate broadly) the look of our sexual organs and the facts surrounding their use are certainly evidence that our creator had a sense of humour. He intimated that if we would step back from the seriousness with which we undergo sexuality, we may find ourselves engulfed in laughter as we went about it.
I once had a wonderful girlfriend, into all things late-hippy )(even herself!), the one who got me to buy earth shoes. One time she had her astrological chart cast, and reported the results to me. She was amazed how close it was to how she saw herself, a Sagittarian, correctly citing her adventurenss, her love of travel, and so on. But one thing disturbed her. The chart correctly saw her sexual adventurousness, but added that her choice of partners "was not necessarily restricted to the species Homo sapiens. She didn't quite know what to think about that.
The next day she told me that the previous night, after wse parted, she was out walking her dog "Josh," whom she had had since whe was a small child, and a thought flew into her head. "Well," she reported thinking, "Jposh has always been my dearest and closest friend. I've always been willing to share sexual joy with thse i love. Why not?"
And I must report that desp[ite my boing the same gender as Josh, it was an attractive dog.
you know what sucks?
I've heard that story before.
Av!
anyway, I don't really think recognizing handsomeness in a man makes you gay... but I hoped that I would get my point across in that easy way, rather than speak any theories liable to be interpreted as projection, because, of course, I'm an American Male and while I'm modern and consider homosexuality normal (some percent of the population has been gay in every culture you can find) and I am no longer disgusted by it as I once was... when I say that, of course I mean, "the thought of it" because I must still communicate that I, myself, no way no sir am gay. And by saying it so certainly, I probably am overcompensating, so clearly I am gay. (!) But since I can admit that, I'm probably not gay or I would know it. And yet... my main point is that, this spark of recognition is no different I think, in kind, to the spark of lust, with the spark of mild interest lying somewhere inbetween.
I guess shinobi's kinsey scale is the best way to describe this situation, because I agree that obviously for some only members of the same sex are attractive and for most of us only the opposite sex is attractive... but I do think the recognition of handsomness is that tiny almost-nil-but-not-quite-nil fraction of bisexuality that we have even if the thought of sex with a man is still revolting.
I used to find the idea revolting, but at this point I would merely say boring and probably comical, there is no motivation whatever... any sex without motivation is pretty silly, awkward, and pointless... though as an American Male™ I should also point out that I have never been involved in any sex that was silly or awkward -- of course not, it's always virile and amazing with proper music playing. But it's true, you have to be more than neutrally motivated for the whole thing to make any sense in the first place.
A super slight attraction will never rise to that level and make these sexually oriented words apply, but it is still the same sort of phenomenon... it's recognition of attraction that starts the process of realizing an attraction to someone.
JD,
I agree with that, I do believe that. The females are the more beautiful sex and that skews the whole thing weighted towrd female bisexuality, because more of 'em are attractive in the first place. I'd rather think it was balanced, but have to admit... you're right and I'm glad about it!
-pyrrho
PS: who guessed it was me?
pyrrho : I knew it was you the moment I got utterly confused.
Shorter pyrrho : Lesbians and bi-sexual women ROCK !
J.D.
JD,
You understand me, you really understand me!
-pyrrho
shinobi,
I've decided to stick with my guns here... sure you can figure out if someone is attractive, say I know a woman that likes beautiful blue eyes, and I see a man with blue eyes, I can say, "oh, so and so would find that guy attractive"... but if I recognize a man is attractive without referencing the criteria of someone else, just inately, how do I know that, I've judged the man more attractive than some other man, and literally, "how?" How did I know... the fact is, I would have logically had to have some personal criteria for what is attractive in a man... and that's the ability to feel the attraction.
as I said, that doesn't rise to the level of sexual attraction, or romantic interest, but I fail to see how it's not the same thing, just more mild, than a full attraction.
I imagine that when judging the attractiveness of people you aren't attracted to you would use generic standards. Like symmetry of features, general fitness, welldressed ness. But you probably wouldn't have a specific standard of "these kind of men are attractive in my opinion."
I agree with you Shinobi
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